Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize