Me. At least after what I've been through.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
