We're like a lot better than the average bears
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize