Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
