i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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