did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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