Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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