I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
