two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
