She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
