Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
