Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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