guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
