Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
