people are starting to question the shark bite story
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
