You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
