so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
