She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
