He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
