She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
