"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
