Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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