Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize