I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
