This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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