it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize