i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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