i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize