fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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