I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
