Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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