remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize