Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
