when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
