I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
