We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
