You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
True strength comes from lack of pants
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
