MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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