the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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