I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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