Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
