he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
