I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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