Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
