I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
