I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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