He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize