I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My vagina just clenched in fear
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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