So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
