I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
