i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
BRING THE BAGELS
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