U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize