i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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