it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
