We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
