Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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