It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
