was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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