I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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