the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
wow bdsm is so cute
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
