her vagine was all disorganized.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
