I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Terrible idea I love it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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