ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He kissed a someone with a penis
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
