a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
